Patricia A. MacAulay
REGISTERED PSYCHOTHERAPIST
Responding
Now, you should have a clearer picture of the child's developmental priority. It is time to get excited about supporting the child in this effort. Here, you will find four menus that provide suggestions for experiences that will facilitate the child's growth. The menus are intended as jumping-off points for conversation and planning between you and the child, seeking to find the things that attract the child's interest. Their intuition about what they need can be trusted.
The level of your own personal involvement will vary, depending upon needs and circumstances, ranging from full participation with the child to simply providing the resources and/or environment required. What is important is that the child gets to share their excitement about their experiences, receiving the benefit of your related attention and interest in what they are doing and how it makes them feel.
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This does not have to be a costly endeavour in terms of time or money. Other demands or the limits of your role in the child's life will determine your level of involvement in this effort. Whatever the commitment, the attention you provide to the child should be regular, consistent, and supportive. As well, finances may limit the purchase of materials or program registrations, as examples. Consider that as an invitation for creative approaches to meeting the needs at hand. Do what you can with what you have ... and seek the support of others who can contribute. Children can benefit greatly from multiple supportive relationships.
Anxiety, shame, and guilt are natural human emotions that inform our thoughts and guide our actions. We can become consumed by these emotions, however, to the point where they dictate what we think and what we do. Revisiting our early development challenges helps us understand and respond to these feelings in healthy ways.
Anxiety
Anxiety is a survival tool. It alerts us to potential dangers.
Given all the novelty we experience as children, feeling at least a little bit anxious is a pretty normal part of childhood. It can arise at every new challenge and developmental stage, showing itself through fear, nervousness, worrying, and shyness and requiring self-soothing and/or support from others.
When a child cannot regain a sense of safety, though, strong physical responses like stomach pains or headaches can develop. To cope, the child may begin to avoid anxiety-producing situations.
Final Thought ...
We tend to imagine that human development is like a road. We set out and roll along, heading toward an unseen (but hopefully successful) destination.
But I see this process more like a spiral, an active, life-infused process wherein we move in rings, interacting with our environment, visiting and revisiting experiences and others, bringing something of ourselves to each encounter and carrying the learning from that experience into our next encounter.
In other words, human development does not move in a straight line. It is a natural and dynamic process where we may visit and re-visit challenges, triumphs, and stories multiple times. Do not despair when this happens!